15 Jun Examples of Making Amends in Recovery Addiction Resources

An indirect, symbolic amend could be a great way to honor that individual. Consider donating to a charity the person was passionate about or drafting a letter to the person to say what you would have, had you been given the opportunity to make amends in person. For the amends process to be successful, you first need to focus on healing yourself, and then be willing to forgive yourself and others. The concept of making amends originates from the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, which provides a framework for individuals to build a long-lasting, sustainable recovery.

Understanding Outcomes

The more I practiced this step the more I found out how much healing comes from it and not just for me. This step does carry a condition—except when to do so would injure them or others. The benefit of making amends to the recovering person does not outweigh the need to do any more harm.

How Will Making Amends Help My Recovery?

It took time for us to emerge from our chrysalis fully committed to recovery, and the people around us are entitled to go through the process without being rushed. All we can do is get sober, be the best person we can be and, above all, be patient. In many cases, making direct amends to them is simply not living amends possible. For every time you said you’d be there or that you’d help someone do something and didn’t show up, you’ve left an impression upon that person that they can’t rely on you to keep your word. You can start making amends by showing up, even if it’s years later, to do the things you said you’d do.

• For example, we might intend to go to a friend’s birthday party, but in actuality, we fail to show up for the event.
• Apologies, while they can be well meaning, feel like lip service to many people.
• Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when preparing to make amends.
• Making amends, however, can help repair strained relationships while also reinforcing recovery.
• Some situations, such as those involving the custody of children, other legal matters, or multiple complex issues at play, may be best to pre-game with the appropriate professionals.

Life can be good again and we’d like to show you how.

Remember, this is a Twelve Step process that can provide a platform for healing, but the person we are reaching out to may not be at the same place in healing as we are. We are only in control of our part—making and living the amends. As with alcohol and other drugs, we are also powerless over other people. We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments. No matter how much we feel the need to make things right, forcing another to meet with us or hear from us is not part of the Steps. When those we’ve hurt are not able or willing to accept our amends, we can still move in a positive general direction by taking intentional steps to be of service to others or making living amends.

Addiction Treatment Programs

• We want to convey our heartfelt remorse but worry that our words will fall short.
• The process of making amends is not about us fixing everything—that comes in time and from going to meetings, attending to our recovery and cultivating a relationship to a Higher Power.
• You can gain clarity about what happened and what should have happened.

Apologies can only go so far in repairing past pain, but it’s a place where you need to begin to heal. Make a list of everyone you’ve made promises to that you didn’t fulfill, the people you’ve lied to, stolen from, or hurt in any way because of who you used to be, and apologize sincerely. Sometimes, it’s necessary to make amends to employers or co-workers. Whatever the situation, there are a few ways to get started in the process of repairing wrongs with the people you most care about. When making an AA amendment, it’s important to apologize sincerely, be humble, accept responsibility for your actions, admit fault, change your behavior, and make an effort to rebuild trust. In the best case, your AA (or NA) amends script is a living document suggesting a promise to repair relationships continually.

Slogans, Quotes, and Sayings to Support Making Amends

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